Switcheroo
by Jade4
Summary: Jareth unwittingly gets switched with an unlikely source and has to see what it's like in another's shoes. Loosely based on the concept of Freaky Friday. PG13 for language.


AN: This is loosely based on the idea of Freaky Friday. Kara is a real person that I tease constantly by telling her since she's got some of Jareth's quirks, and that she's his daughter. Funnier yet is the fact that she plays along with it, which gives a whole new level to the labyrinth universe for me to tinker with. 

  


Disclaimer: Jareth, nor anything connected to the Labyrinth, belongs solely to Jim Henson Productions. I merely played in the realm for a while. Kara belongs to herself, but as temporary muse, I get the pleasure of torturing her. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


~Switcheroo

  


Jareth rolled over onto his side, the covers rustling from his movement. Slowly opening his eyes, he looked out the window and cringed; morning always came too fast. Closing his eyes once again, he wouldn't give in the day so easily. He was King and could do as he pleased and wasn't afraid to let the Underground know it. 

  


Jareth's peaceful slumber was broken when the sound of his door fell on his ears. Not bothering to glance up, Jareth just ignored the goblin as it went on about it's business. When his covers were yanked back, Jareth was displeased and shot up quickly.

  


"What the hell are you doing?" he asked angrily, pulling his covers back up and plopping back down to the softness of his bed.

  


"Yer breakfest, higness," the goblin replied, shaking slightly.

  


Jareth remained where he was, thinking about why he should bother with breakfast and what to do to the goblin that bothered him so early. "Well, I suppose a bite to eat would keep my strength up for the harsh day ahead," he commented, sitting up, all the while thinking of the women he'd seek out and deflower. A wicked grin crossed his face as his thoughts turned darker, the inner passion of lust consuming him. 

  


"Harsh?" the goblin asked, knowing that the King didn't really do anything too strenuous. That's what he used his goblins for. 

  


"How dare you question me, you insolent pest!" Jareth roared. He needed to work the vocal cords early in the morning to have them primed for the next victim. "I don't ask much of you goblins, and half the time, you goof off anyway."

  


"You's just chases the ladies," the goblin spoke up.

  


Jareth shot a death glance at the little beast, looking him up and down before speaking another word. "I'll have you know that being King is harder than anything you have to do," he seethed, eyes flashing angrily.

  


The goblin laughed. "No more," he chuckled, holding his sides; not so bright as to infuriate the King.

  


Grabbing the goblin by the back of its greasy smock, Jareth tossed him out the door followed by the tray of food that landed on top of him. "Clean that mess up," Jareth stated, sniffing the air arrogantly then slamming the door.

  


After getting dressed, he still felt the quiet sting of the goblin's words. Did they really think he had such an easy life? "Those pests. I wonder what my daughter is doing?" he questioned, feeling the need for sympathy. With a smile, he disappeared instantly, reappearing in a darkened room, soft breathing filling the air.

  


"Kara?" he uttered, tripping on the rug covering the floor. "Damn, why can't you be normal and do what I want you to? No, oh no, you have to go to college, take the easy way out while I prepare the Labyrinth for you to destroy when the time comes." Jareth got to his feet, still muttering to himself when a light flicked on. 

  


"Dad? What are you doing here?" she asked, sitting up in bed and drawing the covers around herself. 

  


"Why bother covering up, Kara? You don't have anything I've not seen before," he replied nonchalantly, waving his hand.

  


"Did you miss your medication time?" she snapped back.

  


"That is just a blasphemous rumor, child. I don't take drugs," he stated seriously. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Though I've been known to give a peach or two."

  


"That's more than I want to know," Kara replied, rolling her eyes. "Listen, Dad, I don't really have time to shoot the breeze with you. I have a hectic day ahead of me."

  


"Oh, please," Jareth retorted, his voice laced with disgust. "You're in school, Kara. How hard can it be?" 

  


"College," she corrected, then continued, "It's harder than you think."

  


"When you rule a kingdom, then you can complain," Jareth shot back, running his fingers over the keys of her keyboard. His eyes took in the few pictures that took up residence in his daughter's domicile, not once seeing any of himself. "What is your infatuation with this Bowie fellow, Kara? I don't quite understand that," he remarked, turning his attention to flipping through her cds. "Heathen? Why would he care to name it that?"

  


Kara grabbed the stack of cds from his hands, setting them down on the desk. "Was there something you wanted, or am I supposed to guess?"

  


"You don't have to be so snippy, Kara. Can't I come visit without an ulterior motive?" he asked innocently, sitting down on her chair. 

  


"You? No," she remarked, crossing her arms across her chest. "I don't have time to give you sympathy, either. I have a class at 8 am." 

  


"Oh sure, go have fun while I work hard all day," Jareth muttered, inspecting his glove. 

  


"Fun? You have no idea the stress I have or the problems I face," Kara shot back angrily. "Now if you don't mind, I have to get ready for class."

  


"Fine," Jareth retorted, disappearing in the blink of an eye.

  


"He can be so infuriating," Kara muttered angrily under her breath.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Jareth stormed into the throne room, the conversation with Kara still irritating him to no end. Why couldn't she just be the supporting daughter all other men have, instead of the stubborn and opinionated woman she turned out to be? Sliding into his seat on the throne, Jareth slung his leg over the arm, getting comfortable. Looking down at the goblin at his feet, he just couldn't stand the silence anymore. 

  


"Stress? She thinks she has stress? She should be stuck with you goblins all day and see what stress really is," he said, catching the attention of his goblins. At least they showed him the attention he deserved, even if it was purely out of fear. "Kara has no idea how hard running a kingdom can be. If only she had to experience it firsthand. But no, she runs through her day with silly classes and meetings with friends."

  


The goblins just watched him without a word. They'd seen him banter on about a million different things before, and he always seemed to snap out of it before lunch. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


"I work hard," Kara muttered, brushing her wet hair. "The goblins do most of the work. I know how he works." Getting dressed quickly, she was running out of time. Grabbing the left over pineapple pizza from the fridge and placing it in the microwave, she sat down to take a small breather from the ball of anxiety her father turned her into that very morning. 

  


"When you rule a kingdom," she went on, her voice tinged with anger. The beep of the microwave caught her attention, moving to pull her breakfast out. Sitting it back down on the table, Kara resumed her seat. 

  


"I wish I could switch places with him for just one day," she stated seriously, then took a bite of her pizza.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


"She has no idea about my life," he muttered, then continued, "I wish I could switch places with her for just one day."

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


At that precise moment a clock chimed, tearing the fabric of time and space to rearrange it to fit it's own needs. A lesson began, one they would both regret. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~

  


"This is so revolting!" Jareth shouted, then stopped abruptly. That wasn't his voice, that was Kara's voice. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~

  


"Whoa, how did I get here?" Kara asked, then shrieked loudly, stopping all the goblins in their tracks. '_That's dad's voice,'_ she thought quickly, daring to look down at her self. "Freeze my socks! I'm him!" 

  


"Yer, majesty?" a random goblin asked, cocking his head to the side. 

  


"Go away," she replied casually, waving the goblin away. '_Dad's body has my mind in it,_' she mused with a smile. "Hope he has a fun day," she laughed.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Jareth got to his feet shakily, randomly spitting out pieces of pineapple to catch his reflection in the window. "Oh my god," he muttered, seeing a pair of eyes staring back. '_Kara's body has my mind in it!_' his mind screamed, wishing that it was nothing but a nightmare. Closing his eyes, he reopened them slowly to see her face staring back at him. 

  


"Kara?" Sarah questioned, standing by the door. "You're running late, aren't you? Thought your class was at 8?"

  


"Class?" Jareth replied. 

  


"Are you feeling alright?" Sarah asked, walking to the fridge. "Why don't you take the day off?"

  


Jareth thought about it. "No, I can't. That's just what she'd want me to do," he muttered, slapping his fist against the palm of the other hand.

  


"Who?" Sarah asked quickly.

  


Jareth caught her gaze, not sure if he should go into detail about any of this. He could handle one day, couldn't he? What's so hard about a few classes? "Nobody."

  


"You're acting strange today. You sure you're alright?" 

  


"I'm fine, dear," Jareth replied.

  


"Dear?" Sarah shook her head. "I don't know what's come over you, but I've got to get ready. See you later!" she called, heading out, leaving Jareth standing there alone. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  
  


Kara sat down on the throne, crossing her legs and watching the goblins running to and fro around the room. Shaking her head, she mused silently that they weren't very bright and wondered how many classes she was going to flunk today. 

  


"So far, nothing's happened. And he said it was hard running the kingdom," she laughed.

  


"Yer highness!"

  


"What?" she asked, bored with being her father already. 

  


"Someone's said the words," the goblin replied, jumping up and down. 

  


"Well, go to it then," she shot back, waving him away. 

  


"Goings ta make 'em an offer?" the goblin asked, wondering why Jareth hadn't moved yet. 

  


"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that part," she said softly, under her breath. "How the devil am I going to get there?" she asked nobody in particular, but soon found all the goblins staring back at her without a clue in the world why the king was behaving so odd.

  


"Uh. . ." the goblin started, but Kara soon waved him away. She was her father's daughter, well not at this moment, she was Jareth, the Goblin King. She could handle a rotten, ungrateful child and a younger sibling easily, right?

  


As the goblins scattered to swipe the child, Kara stood there wondering how to change form and show the child that she was nobody to bargain with. Fifteen minutes later, Kara was on her way, trying desperately to keep herself in the air while getting use to the updrafts. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Jareth picked up a folder and tossed it on the bed. "Doesn't she ever write anything down?" he remarked, sorting through various books and papers. Just when he was about to give up hope, he found it, a schedule of her day sitting neatly in her accordian folder. "That's a good girl," he smiled. 

  


Looking down through the list, his eyes grew wide when he realized just what he was in for. "Clarinet? I can't play the bloody clarinet!" he shouted. Taking a breath, he knew he had to try, or else he'd never live it down. Rubbing his eyes in frustration, he glanced at the clock. "Damn, I'm going to be late."

  


Grabbing the list and anything else that looked important, Jareth shoved it into a backpack, spying the car keys sitting by the computer. Snatching them up from their resting place, he was off for a fun filled day of classes with only one thought in mind. . .he was going to drive a car!

  


Looking at the three cars sitting there peacefully, Jareth had no clue which one was Kara's. Growling, he held the keys in his hands, looking from each of them to the next. His eyes fell on the little red sports car. "Surely she's like me?" he grinned, stepping up to the door and inserting the key. His grin soon faded when he pulled the key up to look at it. "Dammit, why won't it work?" he mumbled angrily, turning it over and trying again.

  


With a sigh of resignation, he gave the red car one last glance before looking at the other two. Stepping up to the shiny black truck, he grinned when he noticed to topper. "Hm." Running a finger across the shiny metal, he had only one thought for anything with a topper. "Kara, you bad, bad, girl," he smirked, again thinking she had some of his genes in there somewhere. Trying the key, Jareth's shoulders sank. Again, he had chosen the wrong car. 

  


Glancing to the only car left, the white nearly tore his eyes out in the bright sunlight. "White," he remarked, shaking his head. "I should have known." Unlocking the door, Jareth slid behind the wheel, a grin crossing his face once again. Starting the car was the easy part, as all he had to do was turn the key. Looking around to make sure nobody was watching, Jareth slapped it into gear, pulling down hard enough to hit the third slot.

"Here goes nothing," he said, letting his foot off the break and accelerating. The car lurched forward and Jareth hit the breaks hard, throwing himself forward and hitting the wheel in the process. "Dammit!" he growled. 

  


Looking at the letters of the gearshift, Jareth decided that 'D' stood for drive which he guessed that 'R' meant reverse. "I could be wrong," he muttered, clicking it into reverse. Closing his eyes, not wanting to see his mistake if he was wrong, Jareth hit the accelerator.

  


The car shot backwards out of the parking spot, bringing a honk from a passing car. Jareth's eyes shot open just in time to see a blue Festiva shoot by on the right. "OH MY GOD!" he shouted in terror as he saw the cars getting closer as Kara's car flew backwards. The cars seem to fly past him on both sides, horns blaring in protest. Jareth, not in the best frame of mind to fix the problem, barely acknowledge a branching road. As the second one flew by, the car still intact by some chance of fate, Jareth decided he had to take control of the situation and get off that concrete slab of terror.

  


Glancing up in the rear view mirror that he was sure just sprung there out of sheer luck, Jareth saw his chance to escape. Without a second thought, he stomped the brakes, turning the wheel hard to send the car screaming around one hundred-eighty degrees. As the smoke cleared, Jareth dropped the car into drive and hit the accelerator, lighting the tires up and squealing toward the road.

  


Rounding the corner, the rear of the car flew around, sending the car sideways in the road. Jareth screamed as he saw his predicament and the object of his destruction coming straight toward him. Doing his best to straighten the car out before the impact, Jareth cringed as the red Mercedes narrowly missed him, the familiar sound of a horn screaming in his ears. Taking a breath, Jareth headed down the road, this time aware that a little bit of accelerator goes a long way. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


The once great and magnificent owl descended on shaky wings, headed straight for the house of it's next victim. Kara thought she had the whole flying thing knocked, only to fly into the closed patio door. Transforming back to human form, she kicked at the ground then looked around to see if anyone saw her mistake. When she was certain that the secret was safe with her, she outstretched a gloved hand, throwing the doors open easily with magic. 

  


Taking a step inside, she stood still, looking across the mantle at the pictures that lined it. With a smirk worthy of the Goblin King, she disappeared, seeking out the little brat that dared screw up her peaceful day. 

  


A sudden burst of glitter caught Mary off guard. Shielding her eyes, she dared glance upon the imposing form of the Goblin King, her mouth dropping open in shock. 

  


"Close your mouth, child, you aren't a fish," Kara remarked, crossing her arms across her chest. "Go back to your room, forget the baby."

  


"Uh, this is my room," Mary replied, stunned that such a handsome man was alone with her in her room.

  


"I knew that," Kara remarked quickly, smiling smugly. 

  


"I didn't mean to call you, honest. Can I have my sister back? Please?" Mary pleaded, her voice grating on Kara's nerves. 

  


"What's said is said," Kara remarked. 

  


"But," Mary retorted quickly, but stopped when the Goblin King advanced a step. 

  


"I've brought you a gift," Kara said, twisting her wrist to produce a crystal on her fingertips. A second later, the crystal was nothing but dust on the ground. '_Damn!_'

  


"With all due respect, sir, I need my sister back. My parents are going to freak when they find her missing," Mary stated, her voice showing the fear the swelled inside her. 

  


"That's not my problem," Kara replied, glancing around to see her name. "Don't underestimate me, Mary. I will show you no mercy if you persist with this." Slowly, she walked around Mary, trying to unnerve her enough to give up without a fight. 

  


"Where is she?" Mary asked, unsettled by the fact that he kept circling her like a vulture homing in on it's prey.

  


Kara stopped, glancing toward the window. She didn't know if she could do it, but she had to try. If nothing else ever went right, this was the only thing she wanted. "She's there, in my castle," Kara mentioned. Rolling her arm, the window flew out, as well as the side of the house to reveal the Labyrinth in the distance. "Yes!" she shouted happily, then returned to her smug behavior when Mary gave her an odd look. 

  


"Is that the castle way over there?" Mary questioned, pointing.

  


"What do you want? A written invitation? Of course it is," Kara remarked, leaning against the nearest tree. "I'll give you thirteen hours to get there and swipe the munchkin back. If you don't make it, you'll remain here indefinitely or at least until you bore my father." 

  


"Your father?" Mary questioned. 

  


Kara waved her inquiry away. "Do you have a watch?"

  


"Yes," Mary answered, pulling back her sleeve to show the ugliest thing Kara had ever seen.

  


"That thing is a horror. Anyway, look at it, memorize it and get your butt in gear," Kara remarked, slowly dissolving into thin air. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


"What luck," Jareth remarked, seeing the college just in front of him. Pulling into the parking lot, he drove around cautiously until he found a spot up close. He didn't want to have to walk too far, and he was a king after all. Seeing the sign mentioning the use of an orange pass, Jareth shrugged it off, thinking that if he put an orange colored paper on the dash that it would be alright. 

  


Putting the car in park, Jareth shut off the engine and glanced at the back seat. "What the hell is a clarinet?" Looking at the schedule, he denoted that there were two instruments listed. "Well, whichever one isn't the violin has to be the clarinet," he deduced. Looking over the cases, Jareth grabbed the rectangular case and headed out to find the class before he was too late. 

  


Walking along, Jareth couldn't help but wiggle reluctantly. "Damn underwear. Why the devil do women bother? It just rides up where it doesn't belong," he muttered, trying to pull it back to where it should be. Noticing another case identical to the one he carried, Jareth followed the student the rest of the way to class, taking a seat as far back as he could get. 

  


The Professor walked in, toting her rolling bag behind her. "Kara, what are you doing back there? Get up here with the rest of the students."

  


Jareth reluctantly moved to the front with the other five students and tried to do as they did. Opening the case, he pulled out the reed, wincing as he slipped it in his mouth. Following the others, Jareth finally had all the pieces of the clarinet put together and smiled in triumph. Jareth, admiring the skill he used to put the clarinet together, never saw the other students sliding their reed into the mouth piece. 

  


"Okay, let's play a . . . B flat scale on half notes. Go," the Prof stated.

  


Spitting out the reed that he accidentally bit down on, Jareth raised the instrument to his mouth, ready to show the class that he knew what he was doing. Poised and ready, Jareth blew through the mouth piece, but no sound came. Pulling it away, he looked at it and then tried again. Still, not a sound emanated from it. Shaking it lightly, he listened for a rattle, anything that would explain what was going on. 

  


"Kara?" the Prof inquired with an odd expression on her face. "What are you doing?"

  


"I think mine's broken," Jareth remarked, pursing his lips in a pout. 

  


The Professor walked closer, taking the instrument and looking it over. "Where's the reed?"

  


"The what?" he asked, glancing at the thin piece of wood he had already broke, then it hit him. Picking it up, the reed fell apart in his hand. "Oops?"

  


After the Professor gave him another one, and finally got it into the clarinet, Jareth wished he'd never made that comment early this morning. The squeaking was unnerving, and the fact that the other students took time to snicker and laugh at him when the Professor tried making him see what he was doing wrong by sticking him in front of everyone, just annoyed him to no end. If he were himself, he would have tossed them all in the Bog of Eternal Stench for their actions. When the class time was up, Jareth couldn't wait to get out of there away from the wretched idea of playing such a noisy, complicated thing.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Kara sat on the throne, drumming her fingers in endless boredom. The crying kid in the pit was getting on her nerves. "What's taking Mary so long?" she muttered.

  


"Yous wants 'er ta win?" a goblin asked, stopping dead in it's tracks. 

  


"No, of course not. I just want the time to be up so the kid will quiet down. She'll be quieter as a goblin, even though more trouble," she rationalized. 

  


The goblin just stared at her, looking her up and down. "Sumptin' wrong?"

  


"No. Why do you ask?" Kara asked, arching a thin brow. 

  


"Yous diff'nt than yous were that night," the goblin replied, it's cheeks blushing with color. 

  


Kara's eyes widened in realization. "Oh my God!" she shrieked. This was the same goblin Jareth and Teddy had a threesome with. "Don't you have something to do?" she asked, pushing herself back further on the throne. 

  


"Nope," the goblin remarked, flashing a hideous grin. 

  


Kara shot up quickly, heading out the door. There had to be something to do to waste the time away. Hearing the hobble of the goblin following her, she ducked into the nearest door and locked it quickly. Leaning against the wood, a hand brushing her brow, Kara smiled. "This is what I'm talking about!" she remarked, smiling and stretching her arms out. 

  


Crossing the room, she sat down in the chair and pulled herself closer to the screen. Turning on the unit in front of her, the gentle hum was music to her ears. Waiting for the system to spring to life, Kara looked around the rest of the room. Lining the walls, small trinkets caught her gaze, starting her wonder. Getting to her feet, she got a closer look, then decided it would have been better not to have bothered. Seems as though he had a trinket from each and every woman he'd ever slept with by the name, date and position. 

  


Setting down a small snow globe, Kara rolled her eyes. "I didn't need to know that," she grimaced, walking back to the chair and setting down. Typing randomly on the keyboard, she checked her email, did some research, and then hacked into his email account. "Oh good grief," she muttered, going through them until she found explicit details that again made her skin crawl. She didn't want to know any of that stuff about her dad. 

  


Bored again, Kara decided to check up on Mary's progress. It was her chance to show how mean and cruel she could be. She just knew that Jareth would laugh at all the mistakes she's made so far, and that thought infuriated her. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Jareth sat in the next class, trying to keep his eyes from sliding shut. The professor had stood up there the last half hour making lame jokes about mucus. Sighing softly, he picked at the binding of the book in front of him, wishing that he could go back to clarinet again. At least there, he was doing something, even though he did it wrong, it was something!

  


Once the professor started putting slides up, Jareth thought he was saved from boredom. Who cares about mucus? He knew all he needed to know about anatomy. A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as he thought back to how many women he had personally studied 'anatomy' on. 

  


Tucking a lock of red hair behind his ear, he couldn't forget his current predicament. The longer he thought of how his kingdom was being destroyed slowly without him, Jareth winced when another student stopped the slides to ask a simple question. Her whiny voice grated on his nerves, and he couldn't stand the fact that she reminded him so much of his goblins back home. 

  


Raising a hand, Jareth decided that she'd make a perfect goblin. Deciding that Kara had more than enough magic within her body, he smirked and zapped the girl of his torment. A moment later, when the shrieks of the students fell on his ears, Jareth stood up to look at his newest goblin.

  


"Oh my God!" he exclaimed. 

  


A scruffy, squeaking rat sat on the chair where the girl had been. Jareth's mouth dropped open in shock. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath. "That's NOT what was supposed to happen," he remarked, looking at Kara's hands that were now his hands. "And a nail biter, no less. Does she never practice?" he shrugged, picking up his things and walking from the room, leaving the chaos behind. He had only ten minutes to get back to the car, grab the violin and make it to class on time. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Kara appeared in the Labyrinth, all intentions on making Mary lose, when she glanced around and stomped her foot. "How am I supposed to stop her if I don't know where the brat is?" she questioned, crossing her arms across her chest in frustration. Then a thought occurred to her but she had to frown. "But I botched it up the last time," she muttered, chewing on her lip. 

  


Deciding that she could try again, now that nobody was around, she raised her hand and twisted her wrist as she'd seen Jareth do so many times before. A crystal formed on her fingertips, gently swaying as though determining which way to fall when she snatched it with her other hand. "Piece of cake!" she stated. 

  


Looking into the crystal, she saw Mary traversing through the hedge part of the maze and making excellent progress. "I should have been trying to stop her sooner," Kara mentioned, thinking of some trick worthy of the Goblin King. With a smile, she snapped her fingers and disappeared. 

  


Hoggle stood outside the walls to the great Labyrinth, spray can in hand. Raising the can to yet another faerie, Hoggle pulled the trigger, then jumped back when Jareth's form stood in front of him. 

  


"Dammit, Hoggle. Can't you look before you shoot?" Kara shouted, looking down at the grey tights. Thanks to Hoggle's can, a wet spot now covered the 'area', and Kara shuddered to think of having to change tights again so soon. 

  


"I'm sorry, yer highness. I didn't expect you'd be standin' there," Hoggle apologized, dropping the can quickly. 

  


"I have a job for you, Hoggle. It'll be simple enough," she remarked, taking a step away from the wall. 

  


"What is it?" Hoggle questioned, remembering the last 'job' Jareth had given him. Cleaning the Bog of Stench wasn't a welcomed job. 

  


"Seduce a brat, and get her back here," Kara stated, pointing to the precise place she was standing. 

  


"Cor, I can't do that?" Hoggle insisted, looking down at the ground.

  


"Why not? You're a guy," she retorted, then scowled. "I'll have to alter your appearance though."

  


"Why can't you do it?" Hoggle questioned quickly, knowing that Jareth held more chance than anyone to accomplish such a task. 

  


"Because," Kara replied quickly, waving his question away. Before Hoggle had the chance to question her again, she concentrated on her idea of the perfect man. In a few moments, Bowie stood in front of her, his eyes questioning. "Not David, dangit!" she stomped, putting her hands on her hips. Extending her hands, she gave it another go, coming up with the one person she adored next to David Bowie. 

  


"I really suck at this," she muttered, looking at Hoggle standing there in front of her. He was the spitting image of her boss, William. Running out of time, she sent Hoggle forth to do his best, thinking that in that hot bod, Hoggle should be able to handle something so simple. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Jareth got to the car to find a piece of paper tucked under the windshield wiper. Picking it up, he glanced down through it and scoffed. "What is this, a joke?" Tossing it away, Jareth grabbed the violin from the back seat and headed back off to class. On the ground lay the parking ticket he had acquired from parking in the orange section without a pass. 

  


Getting to class, just in the nick of time, Jareth took a seat and waited patiently. An hour later, Jareth felt as though he'd wasted another chunk of his life to boredom. Who would have thought that dropping the case a few times on the way to class would have thrown it so far out of tune? As if he had any idea how to play it anyhow. It's not his fault the strings of the bow weren't reinforced for the strength of a Goblin King. 

  


Jareth shrugged off the comments of the professor as he tossed the violin back into the case, trying desperately to shut it only to snap the bow in half. "Oh what I a day I am having," he mumbled, squishing the bow in with the instrument and snapping the case shut. "Kara's going to hate me. I've screwed up every class so far, and it's not even noon yet."

  


Glancing at the paper he held in his hands, he cringed when he saw what came next. "Why me?" he muttered, heading back out toward the car only to find another parking ticket tucked beneath the wiper blade. Yanking it out, he opened the door and tossed the violin into the back seat without a second thought. Sitting down behind the wheel, Jareth took in a slight rest, not having the slightest idea how to go about the next class. What was he supposed to do with the little mongrels?

  


Tossing the ticket on the dash, Jareth regained his composure. He couldn't let Kara know how terrible he was doing. He was bound determined to show her that he could do anything she could do, even if he did fail up until now. Looking at the music she'd jotted down, he raised a brow, tucking red hair behind his ear again. "She'll be lucky if I don't cut her hair out of spite," he muttered, thinking immediately that there should be a change in music. Of course, what better than one of his own creations? With a smile, Jareth headed out toward the next class, sure that this time he wouldn't fail.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Kara peered into the crystal in her palm to see Mary meeting up with Hoggle. Watching carefully, she couldn't get over how much like William he looked. As Hoggle put on the advances, Kara just couldn't take it anymore. In an instant, she was there.

  


"Go away," she waved at Hoggle, looking him up and down. With a snap of her fingers, he reverted back to himself, sending Mary screaming backwards in fright. 

  


"Yes, yer majesty," Hoggle replied, hobbling off toward the beginning again. 

  


Kara watched him go, then turned her attention to Mary. "Now, what shall I do with you?" she quipped, arching a brow. 

  


"Give me my sister, and I'll go home. I'll be out of your hair," Mary replied, standing her ground.

  


"Don't be stupid," Kara remarked, taking a step closer. "Hmm . . . I think I have just the thing," she said softly, a wicked smile crossing her face. A few minutes later, a pair of riding goblins appeared at her side. Smirking, she cocked her head to one side. "Sick her," she said, pointing at Mary. "Get her back to the outer walls."

  


"You're cheating!" Mary yelled.

  


Kara crossed her arms across her chest. "That's your opinion, Mary. I do what I must to win." The riding goblins lurched forward, sending Mary screaming in the opposite direction, bringing a smile to Kara's lips. "The sound of victory."

  


Reappearing in the throne room, Kara was in a good mood until she noticed the extra stone protruding into the center of the room. "What the hell is that?" she commented, examining it closely. 

  


"Labyrinth shifted wrong," a voice stated, a pair of dark eyes looking up at the King. 

  


"Can't I leave the castle for five minutes without something falling apart?" she commented, raising her hands above her head. Regaining her resolve, she pushed up her sleeves and got serious. "Okay, I can fix this."

  


The goblins all stopped in their tracks. 

  


Kara looked at them and scowled. "What?" she questioned, raising a stern brow. "Don't think I can handle it?"

  


"Yer not yerself, yer majesty," a goblin piped up quickly, then cringed when she turned her glare on him.

  


"Of course not, you fool," Kara admonished, placing her hands on her hips. "I'm Kara. Dad is taking all my classes for me," she added.

  


Shock struck through the goblins, all mouths dropping open in silence. When they finally forgot the shock of the King's words, the goblins talked quietly amongst themselves before one finally spoke up. "If you say so, yer majesty," he spoke up, then laughter broke out among the goblins.

  


"What's so funny?" she asked, looking them over. When their laughter increased, she stomped her foot in frustration. "Well I am, dammit!" she shouted, but knew that the goblins wouldn't really understand. "I can't believe this," she muttered beneath her breath. "I'm truly surrounded by idiots."

  


Ignoring the snickers of the goblins, Kara raised her hands in front of her, concentrating like her dad had shown her. "I hope this works," she whispered, sending a wave of energy out into the Labyrinth. In the next few seconds, she waited patiently to see if the castle would be restored again. To her surprise, the protruding stone retreated, the Labyrinth shifting once again in it's appearance. Unfortunately, the hole remained. "Why me?" she questioned softly.

  


"Luck?"

  


Kara turned to look at the owner of the voice. "No, you imbecile. Luck has nothing to do with it. I'm cursed," she grumbled. 

  


"Okay!" came the reply, the goblin skipping off toward the other side of the room.

  


Kara just shook her head. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


When Jareth walked into the room, all he could see was potential goblins in the making. Glancing around, he was overwhelmed by the number of children that surrounded him and wanted to run back out of there as fast as Kara's legs could carry him.

  


Even though he'd previous thought of using one of his songs, he could see now that it would not have the right impact on the populous. Glancing down at the notes Kara had made, Jareth figured he could handle this easily. As the chatters of all the kids started to grate on his nerves, Jareth found a few quiet kids to talk to. After a few minutes, Jareth had enough information to try winging it. 

  


"Today, we're going to do the Cookie Monster again," Jareth mentioned, wondering what in blazes he was getting into. 

  


"We've already done this!" a few kids shouted, jumping up and down. A few turning circles in the middle of the room, the others just watched what Jareth would do.

  


"Well, we're going to do it again because it's fun," he replied, crossing his arms across his chest, trying to be the intimidating adult. 

  


A few minutes later, Jareth had set them up with their very own cookie and started the music. Watching the kids as the song went on, raising their cookie in the air every time the phrase 'C is for cookie' came up, Jareth uncharacteristically smiled. "Awe, they can be cute," he said beneath his breath. 

  


In the next few moments, the kids went from cute to positively evil. Running around, chasing each other, the kids' voices kept getting louder and louder until Jareth couldn't stand it anymore. Without prior thought to the previous events of the day, Jareth preceded to make himself a legion of goblins. 

  


Finally when the session was over, Jareth shrugged with a smirk. Feeling the gaze of all the kids' eyes upon him, Jareth crossed his arms. "What did you expect? Her magic doesn't work properly," he scoffed, randomly going through the papers in his hand. Persistent barks and small jumps around Jareth's ankles was enough to drive him batty. "Little urchins," he remarked, leaving behind a room full of hyper puppies.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Meanwhile, back at the castle. . .

  


Kara faced the ultimate challenge that she'd had to take up today. Standing in the small enclosed room, her heart beating in terror, she couldn't believe she was about to do what she was going to do. Feeling as though her throat was closing up, she slowly stepped forward, her hands moving down. 

  


"Oh, ewwww!" she squealed, wincing in disgust as she alleviated the pressure on her bladder. "I'm sorry, dad."

  


After a lengthy hand washing, Kara went back to the throne room and waited. Producing a crystal, she noticed that Mary seemed to have made her way back into the Labyrinth and was closer than ever. "Dammit," she muttered, dropping the crystal to the floor at her side.

  


Thinking, she decided that shifting the Labyrinth would be a good idea, providing that it worked this time. Glancing at the hole in the wall, Kara sighed and shook her head. She didn't have a choice in the matter. She had to stop Mary at all costs. Disappearing, Kara set out on a mission to win the game no matter what.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Jareth shied away from drinking anything more for the remainder of the day. Walking out of the ladies room, his face pale, all he could think of being arrested for child abuse. He spent many minutes washing his hands, wondering where he went wrong? Oh how he missed his own body, the ruggedness of it all.

  


The rest of the day passed by in a blur, all he wanted was to get back to where he belonged and in his own body. He'd bet his last goblin that he'd not make such an idle statement as the one that started this monstrosity. 

  


Miraculously finding his way to Kara's work, Jareth entered Barnes and Noble feeling as though he was going to die. He'd never walked as much as he did that day, and here these people wanted more. There was nothing left for them and if they pushed it, he was afraid he'd cause Kara to lose her job. 

  


Not sure where he was going, Jareth paused slightly to glance around. "Of course there aren't signs, why should there be?" he remarked angrily, frustration lacing his words. A second later, a fist made contact with his upper arm. "Bloody hell." 

  


"Hey, Kara. What are you doing here?" William remarked, knowing full well she was working that night. 

  


"Working you buffoon," Jareth replied quickly, rubbing his arm. "You do realize that's classified as sexual harassment, don't you?" Jareth asked, thankful to have learned at least one thing from his listians. 

  


"What? Are you feeling okay?" he asked, a quizzical expression filling his face. "You never complained before."

  


"That was before," Jareth shot back quickly. "Things change, deal with it." Walking away, Jareth stopped briefly for directions then made his way to the back. It was only after he'd been told that William was none too thrilled with his threat, did he realize the error of his ways. 

  


"Her boss?" he squeaked, thinking the worst. "I've definitely done it this time," he murmured, glancing toward the ceiling. "Somebody up there hates me," he remarked, then added, "almost as much as the listian from Minnesota." 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Finally prying the little goblin off her leg, Kara made a mad dash to escape. "You're a sicko, dad!" she shouted. "Does that little guy have radar, or what? No matter where I go, what I do, he's there. Icky!" Kara responded, trying to remain rational after being accosted by a horny goblin. 

  
  


Finding nowhere to hide, Kara decided she'd be safer with Mary, slowing her down through her trudge in the Labyrinth. In a matter of moments, Kara appeared in front of Mary, an imposing figure standing against the darkness. "Give up, Mary. It's for your own good," she said, glancing around. 

  


"Maybe we could make other arrangements?" Mary asked, an odd glimmer in her eye. She'd had plenty of time to consider just how handsome the Goblin King was, and how much of him was ever present in those tight tights.

  


"What?" Kara asked, taken aback. Before, Mary had been a docile creature, and now, here she was putting the moves on Kara. "Ew!" she shouted, stepping back and flinging her arms around in front of her. "Let's not go there."

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


"Perhaps I was over reacting," Jareth commented, trying to smooth things over with Kara's boss. "I've just had a very bad day and took it out on you. I. . ." he couldn't say it. He'd never apologized in his entire life as King, and now he couldn't say those fateful words to make everything alright again.

  


"Yes?" William inquired, a small smile forming on his lips. Rubbing her shoulders, he wanted to ease her tension so that she could return to work. 

  


"Whoa," Jareth uttered, turning around quickly to catch William's gaze. 

  


"Will you just relax, Kara?" William stated.

  


Jareth backed up into a corner, unsure now what to do. 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


"Get back!" Kara shouted, holding her hands in front of her. "I can't take it anymore! I want my body back." 

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


"I want my body back," Jareth said, wishing to the heavens that someone heard him and took pity.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  


At that precise moment a clock chimed, tearing the fabric of time and space to rearrange it to fit it's own needs. A lesson taught, time and space realigned, everything going back to normal. . . or not?

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Kara felt differently, but it wasn't until Mary screamed that she realized what was going on. "Yes! I'm back!" she exclaimed happily. 

  


"What's going on?" Mary asked quietly. 

  


"Wouldn't you like to know? Now get lost," she replied, snapping her fingers. As if on cue, the ground beneath Mary opened up and swallowed her, sucking her down into the nearest oubliette. Kara's jaw dropped. "It worked? Wow, wonders never cease!"

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


Jareth stood there staring into the amazed face of William. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, stopping suddenly when he recognized that voice. 

  


"Where's Kara?" William asked, shock still evident in every ounce of his body.

  


"You, dear boy, need to keep your hands off my daughter," Jareth stated, crossing his arms across his chest, smiling smugly.

  


"Sir?" 

  


"You heard me. She's an employee, and you flirt shamelessly with her. I have first hand experience, and my being who I am, know all the signs." Jareth, back to his arrogant self, looked William up and down before disappearing from sight.

  


"I'm hallucinating," William said softly under his breath. Shaking his head, he went back to work not bothering to check on where Kara was.

  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  


"What the hell happened here?" Jareth shouted, his eyes looking at the hole in the wall. 

  


"Yous don't 'member?" a goblin asked, quivering in fear when Jareth turned his gaze upon him. 

  


"Enlighten me," Jareth replied menacingly. As the tale unfolded, Jareth had to fight not to laugh at her blunders. Producing a crystal on his fingertips, he found his daughter and instantly brought her to the throne room in a whoosh of glitter. 

  


"I hate it when you do that," Kara muttered, brushing glitter from her clothes. Looking at her father, their gazes locked, she felt a bond of understanding between them. "Lets not do that again," she remarked.

  


"I second that," Jareth added, then continued, "though I do believe you'll have to plead insanity when you return."

  


"What did you do?" she asked, raising a brow. 

  


"Ah, what didn't I do?" he remarked.

  


The day coming to a close, Kara returned home, weary from her day and thankful to be back to normal. When she turned on the light, she wanted to kill her father. "Why?" she questioned loudly, noting that while Jareth was her, he had redecorated her room, leaving David Bowie out of the scheme of things. Off in the distance she heard a distinct voice. 

  


"Because I can," Jareth's voice whispered softly, a gentle breeze in the still room. Everything was back to normal. 


End file.
